Chapter 32. Doubt and Apology

Translator: AdCaelum

Editor: meli

Hi, Caelum here. I want to thank you all wished me good health on Discord. I’m feeling better now, so we’re back!

Asher slowly sat down on the chair as prompted while Theodore remained standing behind him.

“Theodore…?” Asher asked.

“Hey, now! Why are you gazing at your lover’s back?” The woman yelled at Theodore. “You sit down too. I’ll go cut the cake now.”

“He is not my lover. This is—” Theodore was about to reveal Asher’s identity, so Asher quickly stopped him.

“Theodore! You don’t need to! You don’t need to tell her… I’m, um, fine like this… I don’t want to make things awkward for her…”

“But…” Theodore mumbled.

“She’s already doing so much for us. If she isn’t aware, we should keep it that way.”

“As you wish.”

“Theodore, you sit down too…or else things are going to get awkward again.”

“…”

Although Theodore showed some reluctance to Asher’s suggestion, he obediently sat across from Asher.

The shop was tiny, but every little decoration was an antique. The tick-tocks of the clock were gentle, and the sun shining through the window was warm. Asher commented, “This is a nice place.”

“I am glad that it is to your liking.”

“Um, why did you bring me here?”

Asher looked at Theodore to ask, but Theodore turned away when he answered, “I surmised that even if we returned to the carriage, it would still be some time until we must return to the castle…”

“Oh! Wait! I completely forgot about Noah!”

“You need not to worry. Braun promptly went after His Highness,” Theodore calmly said.

But truth be told, Asher still didn’t have a very good impression of Ward. He always saw Ward as some flirty, frivolous guy, but if Theodore felt that way, then Ward must at least be capable at his job. Asher felt a bit guilty for doubting Ward.

Nevertheless, Theodore hadn’t answered Asher’s initial question. Why had he taken Asher all the way out here?

“I…wouldn’t have minded waiting in the carriage… Besides, now we’ll be the ones making Noah wait.”

“…”

“Yeah, we should head back—”

“Here you go! Sorry to keep you waiting! Eat as much as you’d like!” With a loud clank, a large pound cake was placed in front of Asher. The woman broadly smiled and addressed Theodore, “I still can’t believe you’d bring your lover here, Sir Theodore~! And such a drop-dead beauty to boot!”

“Like I said, we’re not lovers.”

“Okay, I gotcha. No need to be shy about it! Today’ll be my treat in honor of bringing your date here. Tea’s on the house too!”

Asher was about to leave his seat, but he reconsidered. The woman had brought this over out of the kindness of her heart, so it would be rude of him to leave without trying some.

“This old lady doesn’t wanna get in the way of your date, so I’ll go wash the dishes in the back!”

The smiling woman looked back and forth between Theodore and Asher and went to the back of the shop, humming. Asher wryly smiled at the misunderstanding as he quietly sipped the tea. It had a nice blend of bitterness and sweetness—the way he liked it.

He hadn’t expected it to be this delicious. His face melted into a natural smile. “It’s delicious!” he said as he turned to Theodore, but just then, he caught sight of what he thought was Theodore smiling.

“That’s wonderful to hear…” It really was only for a moment, as in less than a blink of the eye, Theodore was back drinking tea with his usual expressionless face. “I know you are concerned about Prince Noah, but I’m certain that once Braun has secured Prince Noah, he will bring him to Prince Hugo and they will return to the castle without waiting for Your Highness…”

“What?”

When faced with this reality, Asher had to agree that Hugo definitely wouldn’t wait for him to go back home.

“Even if the carriage has gone back with Prince Noah, rest assured, Your Highness. I shall bring you back to the castle on my horse.”

Asher put his cup down with a clink and looked straight at Theodore. Truth be told, even if the carriage was still there with Noah waiting for him, he didn’t want to see Hugo. At the same time, he couldn’t walk back to the castle. Without Theodore here, he would be completely lost.

But why was Theodore doing so much for him? Didn’t Theodore say—

“I hate you.”

Asher recalled what happened on the balcony yesterday. Theodore had shown an emotion Asher would have never expected to see from him. And there was also that…

Asher’s eyes ended up focusing on Theodore’s lips. He could feel his own ears turning red. What should he do to pretend like that kiss never happened? Urgh, there was too much for him to process… Should he ask why he was kissed? No, people normally didn’t ask, right? Wait, he didn’t even know what the “norm” was. In the first place, why was all this confusing stuff happening on his birthday? It loomed heavily over all the festivities he should be enjoying… Argh! Dammit!

“So, then, do you hate me?” The words slipped past Asher’s lips, taking Asher himself by surprise.

The baffled Theodore stared at Asher. Silence persisted between the two until Theodore opened his mouth first.

But before he could say anything, Asher put both hands up in front of him and stopped him. “Wait! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m really sorry. I put you on the spot with that question…” Asher slowly said, “I told you this before…but I don’t remember my past… I’m not asking you to believe me. I’m aware it sounds like a really convenient excuse, especially after all the horrible things I had apparently done to others… But I really don’t know anything… I really don’t…” He looked down and saw his face reflected in the liquid inside the cup. “Back there, they said I treated them horribly…but I don’t even recognize their faces… But just because I don’t remember, it doesn’t mean that it never happened.”

Asher tightly shut his eyes and fell silent. Ever since he found himself in this body, he was constantly apologizing. For how long would he have to suffer under this unbearable weight? How many more times would the guilt crush his heart?

“I’m not sure what I did, but I probably did something terrible to you too, didn’t I…? Yet I claimed to have no memory of it… I’m sorry.”

Asher wasn’t brave enough to look up and see what face Theodore was making. The knight said nothing back.

Asher was forced to take the continued silence as his answer.

Our 12th grade vocabulary is enhanced by coffee. We would be elated by any philanthropic endeavors.