Chapter 4. Despair

Thank you Yuki-Snack again for the ko-fi! You really just want to cheer Asher on, right? Also, rise, we get to see more information about the soldiers here. Though it’ll be two more chapters until we actually get to meet them.

---

After leaving the dining hall, Asher was walking with Theodore through the hallways back to Asher’s room when Asher suddenly asked if they could stop for a moment along the way since he was feeling very sick. Theodore’s face remained unchanged, but he looked slightly annoyed when he asked, “…If you wish, I can carry you on my back.”

Theodore knelt down softly next to the crouching Asher, but Asher shook his head in response. It was true that he wanted to be alone in his room as soon as possible, but he didn’t want to bother this man and make him carry him on his back all the way there. He was certain that Theodore hated him… Well, that was obvious. “Asher” was such a terrible prince… Even his siblings…and his father…

Asher didn’t know if it was because all his memories returned to him at once or the feelings raging in his heart, but his mind was a chaotic mess. As a matter of fact, he felt so dizzy that he couldn’t stand back up right now. He weakly asked, “Can you… please wait a bit longer…? I just need to rest a bit, then I can get up myself…”

“…But this place is—” Theodore was trying to say something when he was drowned out by the sound of several people laughing. People were coming out in droves from the door in front, but they immediately stopped laughing the moment they caught sight of Asher and froze in place. Asher thought it was because he was blocking the way, so he raised his head to look at them but was met with beasts far larger than him. He was shocked at first, but he then noticed upon closer inspection that they were humanoid. There were some with wolf faces and some with feline features. Asher’s memory told him that these people were beastfolk.

One of the beastfolk said “Prince Asher… M-my apologies! We weren’t aware that you would be coming to such a place…” and lowered his head. The rest of the beastfolk did the same all together. Some of them must have feared Asher as their tails were tucked between their legs. It seemed that Asher had stopped in front of the beastfolk army common room.

He also realized what Theodore was trying to say before. Normally, the royal family would use their exclusive hallways where they would never cross paths with the average soldier, but the hallway Asher was currently in was the quickest path from the dining hall to his room, so Theodore had chosen it in consideration of Asher’s condition. However, he hadn’t expected Asher to stop here of all places.

“Prince Asher, it was my decision to bring you this way. These folk have done nothing wrong. The blame is entirely on me,” Theodore declared and quickly stepped in between Asher and the beastfolk. This reaction from Theodore and the beastfolk further intensified the feeling Asher had before.

“Asher” had loathed and antagonized the beastfolk. But that was in the past. Not this Asher. The current Asher only felt intense guilt towards the beastfolk. He mustered his strength to reassure Theodore, “These people have… naturally… done nothing wrong.”

The past “Asher” might have screamed, “How dare you filthy animals appear before me! An affront to the crown!!!” but the current Asher wouldn’t do that. He would never. But what should he do to alleviate their fears?

“…Thank you very much for all your work protecting the castle…” Asher tried to make his voice sound as gentle as possible and showed his gratitude to them. He then addressed Theodore, “Um… I would like to take up your offer to assist me back to my room.” Asher thought that just having his gaze meet theirs would scare the beastfolk, so he kept his eyes on the ground. The beastfolk were shocked at this unbelievable behavior from him.

Theodore didn’t show any change on his face, but he was stoically staring at Asher. “…As you wish. Please excuse me,” he coldly replied and a few seconds later, he sat down in front of Asher and faced his back towards him.

Asher slowly pressed his body against Theodore as that broad back filled his field of vision. He wrapped his arms around Theodore’s neck, saying “I’m sorry, Sir Theodore, for making you do this.”

“Your Highness needs not to address me so formally,” Theodore replied.

Lifted up onto the knight’s back, Asher recalled that it was strange for a prince to speak so formally to a knight. His behavior as royalty came to him naturally as his body remembered, but if he didn’t pay attention to his speech, he would end up not sounding like a prince. Well, that was a given since his past life was that of an ordinary person. Or rather, he had developed communication problems from all the bullying he had received during school and he hadn’t maintained any relationships even after becoming a working adult, so there was no way such a person could properly convey themselves. Even though his memories as “Asher” returned to him, he only knew about being a cruel, deplorable prince; he didn’t know how a proper prince should behave.

“Ye— Okay. Th-thanks.” Now he was too conscious and stuttering. His line of sight was suddenly higher now from on top of Theodore’s back, so he ended up meeting all the beastfolk’s gazes. They looked at him with wide eyes and slacked jaws, but it was hard for Asher to truly tell since their faces resembled animals. Nevertheless, he felt that they looked surprised. But the moment their eyes met with Asher’s, they deeply lowered their heads and shrank their bodies. Asher once again spoke gently to them, “I apologize for blocking your way… Please continue to work hard to protect the castle.”

One of the beastfolk, a gray wolf beastfolk who had been desperately trying to minimize the space his large body took, timidly raised his head to look at Asher. Asher met the beastfolk’s gaze and slightly lowered his head to bow. The beastfolk blinked several times at the display of Asher bowing. He appeared surprised though he respectfully replied, “As you wish. Prince Asher.”

“…If you’d excuse… err… Goodbye. Theodore, please… err… let’s go.” Although still flustered, Asher lightly tapped Theodore’s shoulders. Asher left the shocked beastfolk behind as he was carried to his room on Theodore’s back.

When the two reached the room, Theodore gently lowered Asher onto the bed, knelt before Asher, and didn’t move from there. Asher silently observed him, unaware of Theodore’s intentions, but Theodore remained absolutely still.

“…Theodore, what’s the matter?” Asher asked. He frankly wanted to lie down already because of the dizziness and headache. He wished Theodore would hurry up and leave so he could think about everything by himself.

Theodore answered Asher’s question with his head still lowered. “How will I be punished?”

“Punished…?”

“You stated before that those beastfolk soldiers have done nothing wrong.”

“Yeah…”

“So I am inquiring about my punishment.”

Asher’s head hurt even more. Was he not clear? He said that no one was to be blamed… He thought when he said that the beastfolk weren’t wrong, Theodore was included among them.

“Theodore, you also didn’t do anything wrong,” Asher stated clearly this time to get this thought across. This way shouldn’t create more miscommunication.

However, Theodore remained kneeling. He slowly raised his head to look at Asher and said, “May I ask what you are thinking?” Theodore’s pure black eyes reflected nothing. Even though his face was expressionless, something about those eyes felt terribly cold.

“…Nothing, really…”

“If Your Highness says so… Then I shall take my leave.” Theodore’s black eyes dimly glowed, seeming like he had something to say to Asher.

Asher had seen those eyes before… His work superior often had these eyes when looking at him. When he denied blunders he had no recollection of, the man would look at him this exact way. Asher finally realized what they meant—distrust. Theodore didn’t trust Asher’s words. He was convinced that there must be something more to Asher’s actions.

Theodore got up and walked to the door. Just when Asher thought he would leave, Theodore suddenly stopped and turned back to him. Asher prepared himself for what would be coming next, but he was instead told by Theodore, “…Thank you very much for graciously releasing my subordinates as soon as you woke up.”

“Oh…yeah,” Asher was a bit surprised. Theodore was referring to the soldiers who were imprisoned and tortured for allowing Asher to get hurt. Since this happened to them because of him, it was weird for him to be thanked. He then asked, “How were they… after that?”

However, as soon as Asher said that, he realized his mistake, but it was too late. Theodore’s black eyes seemed to have a ferocious fire lit in them for a second. He reported, “Your Highness, during those several days, the two human soldiers were beaten, leaving bruises all over their bodies. As they weren’t given anything decent to eat during that time, their bodies are weak and their recovery slow. The beastfolk soldier had all his fingers broken before being whipped all over his body for several days. He was given no food so he currently remains unconscious.”

Asher stared at Theodore’s black eyes in a shocked daze. Theodore didn’t care about Asher’s reaction. He bowed, opened the room door, and left.

Now left alone in the room, Asher covered his mouth and regretted the words he said to Theodore. No, he didn’t have the leeway to regret anything. He thought his new life after waking up to find himself reincarnated into a beautiful prince of a nation (although he wasn’t blessed with any special abilities) was going to be easy and fortunate. No one loved him in his previous life, or rather, he was treated as a nuisance and hated, so he honestly thought he hit the jackpot when he was reborn into such a beautiful boy. He even had the secret hope that he could marry a cute princess of a neighboring nation since he was royalty. But once he peeled back the layers of his new life, he discovered that he was a cruel, deplorable prince hated by those around him… and this level of hatred was incomparable to what he faced in his past life.

That was right; he was detested.

Asher lost all hope and he understood why he was detested. He wanted to punch himself for optimistically thinking that he could take it easy in this world. Far from starting this life on easy mode like a game, it was more like hard mode with handicaps on top of handicaps from the very beginning.

He thought this numerous times in his past life: if he was hated and persecuted by others, what was the point in living? He had spent his days doing nothing that would warrant others hating him even more. He tried to isolate himself as much as possible. He lived a worthless life. That was why he didn’t know how he should interact with those around him. What should he do from now on? He recalled how his father, his brothers, and of course practically everyone in the castle viewed him. He didn’t try to notice how he, as the cruel, deplorable Prince Asher, was reflected in the eyes of those around him. But now he knew.

“My head… hurts…”

Asher fell into despair for being dropped into this world and cradled his head.

Our 12th grade vocabulary is enhanced by coffee. We would be elated by any philanthropic endeavors.

▷ Join our Discord ◁

<<　TOC　>>